


I don’t regret

by U_Bahnstation



Category: Joyeux Noël | Merry Christmas (2005)
Genre: Flu, M/M, Post-Canon, Sick Character, Sickfic, Suicide, World War I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23413744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/U_Bahnstation/pseuds/U_Bahnstation
Summary: It’s a sad sick!fic. I’m too tired to write something more.
Relationships: Audebert/Horstmayer
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	I don’t regret

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say sorry for this whump. Especially in this dark time. And please, don’t associate this story with modern situation with Covid! It’s just a fantasy! I didn’t want them to have anything in common. But something tells me for other people it can seem to have. *Sigh* I just hope, everything bad will be to the end very very soon!

It was an accident they met again during this war. An accident or a fate. The autumn day was rainy. It was not a great question why the tired French after decided to rest on an old farm, which was lost in a no-men’s-land and surrounded by endless fields. The great question was how for god’s sake these French didn’t mention the Germans who had already occupied this place! And so, now they were standing opposite each other, with their guns ready for a use but without any wish to do it. So tired of everything. Both sides. Audebert knew, for other it could sound like betrayal and wanted to believe he made a right decision. Just some time for his men to rest. Even near the Boches. Even if later he would regret...

The Germans looked displeased but not aggressive. They listened to him attentively and with some sympathy. He was almost sure of success but...

\- No. It will be better for all of you to leave.

\- Maybe it’s better to talk to your commander?

\- No. - the young soldier shook his head.

\- Otto, wait. - whispered another one, - what if they can help?

The look of the man changed, he came closer to Audebert, - Do you... Is here a medic with you?

The french Lieutenant looked around his people to be sure in the answer.

\- Yes.

\- And... can he help us? - the German made a small pause and added with some uncertainty, - Of course, if he does, our commandant won’t mind you staying for some days.

\- We can promise nothing. - Camille answered, calling the medic to come with him.

\- Herr Oberleutnant! - the young soldier knocked on a heavy wooden door, - Herr Oberleutnant!

\- What? - the voice from the room sounded weakly.

\- We... we found a medic!

\- A medic? How?

\- Ummm the French came here. He is a Frenchman. But he can help! - he answered a bit frightened, - Can we come in?

The silence lasted for some long seconds. During this time the soldier nervously looked from the door to the medic and to Audebert.

Finally the silence was broken, - Yes.

Otto pushed the door, skipping the French ahead.

The sick man was lying on a bed under some old blankets. His eyes were closed, the face was pale and the cheekbones seemed painfully thin. But Audebert didn’t need much time to recognize him.

\- Karl...?

The German opened his eyes. Surprise gave way to a slight painful smile.

\- Camille. Nice to see you again. - Horstmayer coughed, closing his mouth with a pale palm.

The Frenchman made some steps to leaning on pillows Karl.

\- Don’t come too close. It can be contagious.

\- Don’t say nonsense. My medic will examine you. I don’t think that situation is so bad! - Audebert said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

\- It’s a flu. He has a flu, mon Lieutenant.

\- Oh, sounds not very positive. But have you something against it?

\- Let me explain. - the medic sighed, - there is no medicine against it. I don’t really know, how to treat it. It’s a new illness and...

\- Wait, what do you mean by you don’t know how to treat it? Do you want to say it can be lethal?

\- Exactly.

\- Do you want to say he can die?! - Audebert realized he began to speak very loud. Karl touched his hand with hot fingers. The Frenchman calmed down and sat back.

\- What can I do, mon Lieutenant?

\- I don’t know! You’re a medic! Not me!

\- It’s a flu. I don’t have anything against the flu. - he repeated.

\- Than find it somewhere!

\- Where, mon Lieutenant? There are kilometers of empty villages around us! To tell the truth, I can’t imagine the worst place to get sick.

\- I don’t ask you what you imagine! I ask you for advice! - Camille’s voice rang and broke again.

\- My advice? - the medic leaned close to his ear, - the best decision will be leave this German. We can’t help him. And you, mon Lieutenant, can get this illness... Listening to the medic’s loud whisper Audebert was looking at pale Karl’s face and becoming more and more angry with each next word.

\- What a hell are you...

\- But he is right, Camille. - There was no resentment in Horstmayer’s eyes, - What can you do? And it can be dangerous for your men.

The Frenchman’s look flounced between the medic and Karl.

\- But we must do something! There must be a solution! Can you do anything? - Camille asked, touching the doctor’s hand.

\- I can try, - he answered unenthusiastically, - but I’m not sure it will help. But if you want, i’ll prepare the mixture.

\- Do everything you can!

Karl sighed and coughed. He felt so bad, but he had to discuss one thing with his men. One very important thing. While he still had the strength.

A long evening and a long night passed. The doctor came, the doctor went away. Camille stayed in the room with Horstmayer, refusing a dozen warnings. Sitting near him, the Frenchman told everything which happened these years. Karl listened to him attentively. Did Karl need it? He wasn’t sure. But he wanted to talk more to banish fear. And he talked before he got asleep near the softly moaning German. And he didn’t hear Karl talking to soldiers near the door. He didn’t hear Karl crying. He probably didn't need to hear it. The morning brought the sunlight through the shutters. The last sunny day before long autumn rains.

\- Hey, Camille... - Karl called quietly.

The Frenchman opened his eyes.

\- What?

\- I wanted to tell you before it isn’t late. It’s about my men.

Audebert came closer and kneeled near the bed.

\- Yes?

\- You are too close again. You can catch the flu.

Camille answered nothing, just adjusted the pillow under Karl’s head.

\- Your men, - reminded he softly.

\- My men... Yes. Camille, you know, I asked them to write a surrender. But they were against. All of them. “We’ll disobey this order, commander” - told me one of them. - he sobbed heavily, looking at the Frenchman, - But listen, I don’t want them to fight with your men! I don’t want them to die. And yours either. There have been enough deaths already... Can I ask you for one thing?

Camille squeezed his hand and nodded. Karl lowered his voice to a whisper.

\- Camille, please... When I’m gone, when everything is to the end, just... just let my men go... - the German wanted to say something more, but a fit of coughing interrupted his speech.

\- Hey, no! You won’t die! - Audebert fumbled the end of his blanket nervously, - No, do you hear me? This... - he tried to choose words, - mixture must help! It’s absolutely sure to help!

Karl smiled painfully, - Just promise, Camille. I don’t ask for anything more. - A cough broke out of his chest again.

\- Everything is okey, everything is going to be good... - the Frenchman wanted to touch his fingers, but Horstmayer recoiled from him.

\- You’d better leave, Camille.

\- What?! Why?

Karl took the palm from his lips showing bloody smudges on fingers.

\- You’d better go. - he repeated looking at Camille frightened, - Please, just go away!

\- I don’t care, Karl. - Audebert answered wiping blood from his hand, - And never, I tell you, never ask me to leave again!

Two next days were rainy. But Camille didn’t mention. He didn’t see the dark sky or clouds from time to time crying above the field and the old farm. He stayed with Karl, who melted like a candle coughing and looking somewhere through him.

\- You don’t even know, how I’ve wished to see you once more after that truce. - he said on the third morning, - It's funny under what circumstances wishes can be fulfilled...

Audebert ran through his wet hair and quickly turned away, trying to hide the tears. The German grinned weakly, noticing them.

\- Don’t regret, Camille... - he whispered, - just don’t...

He closed eyes. His hot hand with which he was holding Audebert’s palm fell powerlessly.

\- Karl...

Camille tried to hear at least his breath, but it was silent. Absolutely silent. Just his own heart boomed in the ears. Audebert left the room swaying. The german and the french soldiers raised from their chairs.

\- We leave, - Camille said without addressing to any of them, - there is nothing more to do here.

\- But mon Lieutenant!

\- Shut up! We are moving forward now. And they - he nodded to the German, trying to suppress sobs, - they need to bury him.

It was accident or a fate but some days later, feeling the disease raising at him, Audebert decided not to wait. His farewell note was short. “There always has been only one end. For both of us. I don’t regret” 

The Great war ended in a month.


End file.
